Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
