How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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