I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
