just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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