the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize