Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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