We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize