I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
