Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
