We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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