Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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