haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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