If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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