i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
