ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
