Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
