I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
It's just like the Real World with babies
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
