why didn't you poke me back
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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