So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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