apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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