Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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