ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
