He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
