the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
this will be a night to untag.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
