spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
These tits shall not be calmed
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