Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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