I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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