So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
