I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
