I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize