so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
