Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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