**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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