I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
