A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
