He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
