He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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