I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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