Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
