oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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