so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
