Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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