i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
