physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize