So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
