that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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