i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
