The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
