Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
