The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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