How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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