I'm eating all of the evidence.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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