never play flip cup with pint glasses
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
