I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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