there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
