She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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