nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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