He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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