I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
