You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize