I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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