i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
