we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
