Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
