look no pants
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize