I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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