They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
