just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
