Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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