I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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