hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
