"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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