I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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