just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
