the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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