What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
