just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
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