They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
