the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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